31 January, 2010

The best $19.99 I've spent in ages...



OK, I've discussed my issue with spending money, so that aside, I have to admit that this responsibility chart has paid for itself already.

The Melissa and Doug Magnetic Responsibility Chart has saved so much of my sanity, and helped my feeble little brain manage the challenges I've faced with Ethel lately.  I have struggled with the best way to develop a rewards system for her, whereas she can take control of her own behaviour based on expectations that she and I set together.

Paper charts are great, but the drawbacks prevented me from utilizing them to their full potential.  First, I don't have a working printer at home, so I have to try to remember to print them during one of my three days in the office.  Not happening.  When I do print, though, now what do I do with it?  Where to hang it?  How many should I print?  What tasks should we choose to write on the chart?  How should we keep track?  Where and when will I buy stickers for the chart (back to my resistance to spending money)?  Holy crap, it's a stupid chart!!

Anyway, paper charts proved unsuccessful for us.  There are still some taped to her bedroom door, half filled with stickers because at the end of the day, we were often too tired to tackle the placement of stickers on the chart.  We'd run out of yellow stars, or red hearts, or something would be wrong with some part of the process, and we'd end up not going back to the chart the next day.

I talked about the chart when I bought it, and today Ethel rewarded me with the best return on my investment I could have asked for.  First, she cleared the chart of all the magnets by herself, and started to think the board over this afternoon.  We used a dry erase marker and put "x" on the tasks which are required for her to get a reward.  Brushing teeth is an every day "x".  Picking up toys has an "x" on our stay home days.  You get the idea.  Today she erased the "x"es from last week, and started it new.  OMG, this was so cool to watch.  She showed me that she would do all those things every day so she could get a prize next week.  I asked her if she would get a prize this week, and she replied (correctly), "No, I was whining on these two days".  Two days last week she had spells of endless whining and complaining for which I told her she would not get a magnet.  She was fine with it then, and knew today that it meant no reward.

Later, when she was cleaning her room after her quiet time, Fred asked if he could play with her.  She replied, "No, I'm cleaning up, and I have to finish or else I have to take the magnet off my board and I won't get a prize".  A puzzled Luke exited her room, not quite sure what to make of the answer he got to his question.  Luckily, at the age of two he quickly forgot his disappointment and moved on. :)

Tonight at bed time, Ethel and I put magnets on the tasks she successfully completed today, and before we were about to finish up our routine, she pointed out that we'd forgotten a vital task from the board.  Picking out this week's outfits!  She held the magnet out for me to see, reminding me that we had one more thing to do tonight.

Most of her clothes had just been removed from the dryer, so I brought the basket of clothes to her room and she carefully picked out her outfits for the week, all the way down to the socks and panties.  Once that was finished, she sorted and put away all her panties in her drawer.  "I'll put them in here organized, Mommy".  It was too cute!

Ethel has begun to take charge of her daily responsibilities, and almost every day she points out something that she's done to earn a magnet on the board.  Today she took another step and worked on the chart all by herself without prompting.  Wow, that's one less thing I had to worry about and fit into our evening.  On top of that, she showed her understanding of the whole concept of the board.  It was one of those moments where I realized how much she's grown up, a bittersweet feeling.

Here she is, standing with her chart outside her bedroom door.

My little girl is growing up.

3 comments:

  1. That is soooo wonderful! I know you've been struggling with her lately, and I am so proud of you both for getting to this point! How great for her to recognize the consequences of her actions, and to pro-actively make the right choices. Awesome!

    Funny, we got the same chart as a hand-me-down, and I ended up putting it away because all the kids did was mess with the magnets. Maybe I need to try again and put it out of the toddler's reach?

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  2. Laura, I can't say that Fred hasn't been tempted by the colorful little magnets on the board. He's rearranged it a few times, but Ethel's constant reminders not to mess with it have worked, at least for the last few days. I'd say if you can put it where the toddler can't reach it but where the five year old can, it would be worth another try!
    Good luck, let me know how it goes!

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