The struggle of food

Food, in itself, is not the struggle.  Ethel is my mini-me in more ways than one, and one of them is her relationship with food.  This morning I realized how much food is becoming an issue, and it breaks my heart.

Ethel's class did a lesson on foods, studying different fruits and veggies, and tasting things like kiwi, coconut, and green peppers.  Ethel said she liked the kiwi, to my surprise, but nothing else has tickled her fancy.  I was really pleased that she tried any of the foods, let alone liked even one of them.  Guess I'll add kiwis to my shopping list next time I head to the store.

Not thinking anything of it, she's also been complaining over the last few weeks that her "tummy hurts".  Almost every day she tries to protest going to school, but doesn't put up much of a fight when she doesn't win the battle.  I really never put much weight into the complaints, figuring she was just playing on the last time Fred was sick and he said his tummy hurt, or something like that.  This week she's been telling me that she needs a stay home day because she is sick.  She feels her forehead, back of her neck, her cheeks checking for a fever (the way Mommy does).  Last night she was very direct in telling me how sick she was and that she would need a stay home day the next day (today).  Hm.  This morning, the theme continued, but, she relented and got dressed and joined us for a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

At the table, she again asked for a stay home day today.  I wasn't exactly sure where this was coming from, but she insisted that she was sick and her tummy hurt.  Then she blurted it out.  "I don't want to try food".  I didn't think the class was still experimenting and trying new foods as a lesson, so I asked if she meant trying new foods, or eating at lunch.  She answered, "At lunch".  Sigh.

Poor kid.  She's 30 lbs sopping wet and fully clothed.  She's tiny, but, she's healthy.  I have struggled with her diet for a couple of years now.  She's been strong-willed when it comes to food since she was spoon fed.  I've tried all the tips and tricks you read about, all the variations on foods to make them appealing, but, I can't make her do anything she doesn't *want* to do.  I can't make her eat.  I can serve her healthy options, but I can't force the food into her.  I will not shame her into eating, nor will I do it at the risk of her feeling badly about herself for not wanting to try something.  The things she does eat are healthy enough, and she will eat most fruits 'til the cows come home.  What veggies I think she needs, I can and do disguise in other foods, and she's none the wiser.  I feed my child, I feed her well.  I am doing my part.  This is something I've beaten myself up over, but I realize that I am doing all that I can, I'm not doing anything wrong.

So to learn that she is being made to feel badly at school with respect to food makes me very sad.  She said she tried most of the foods, but, she doesn't like them.  She tried peas, but didn't like them.  They even made her try broccoli, she didn't like it.  She literally gags when faced with a food she doesn't want.  I always did, too.  Some people might find it dramatic, but, gagging is a natural reflex when your body is being asked to intake something it doesn't want to accept.  My poor baby is gagging at school. 

I mentioned this to one of the other teachers this morning at drop off because I didn't catch Ethel's teacher.  I will follow up with a phone call to the center, as well.  I just don't want my poor baby going through the battles I did as a child when it comes to eating.  I eat relatively well today, and I know that Ethel will open up her palette to more options as time goes on.  I also know it will take longer if she's continually challenged and asked to try foods she doesn't want to try.